Struggle of a Person...

Who am I to be here? What has transpired with or without my knowledge that lead me to such a place? This isn't the end it can't be..., but where is this? It's not a beginning, it's been too long. It's not quiet the middle either.... It's hard to see the light in sky or the actual road I'm on.
I'm lost, but I'm not lost. I'm here, but not here as I should be. I'm here as what I am and how I am based on what has happened. Is this what it should be? Is this what my life has accumulated to this moment? Perhaps this is just a passing dream of another and my existence is nothing that a dream. My body is nothing but a metaphor of another's thoughts, desires, fears, dreams, hatred....
There has to be something more here..., but what? What is missing and why can't I find it? Perhaps that's a question that can't be answered... or maybe it has too many answers to be able to be pinpointed to a single one.


I am here because my past has shaped me, it's who I am, it's why I am the way I am, it's why I exist. My past is a part of me just as my future is, a path I will find because even if I have to crawl on my hands and knees I'll find it. It won't escape me. I walk alone on my own path, but that is of no consequence to me. We all walk on our own in spite of what we like to admit. It's those who have walked the points on the path with us that have allowed us to keep going.

Though they have ventured off into their own ways and left me by the wayside I know they are out there somewhere and I wish them well. It's my own struggle to keep going, keep pushing forward and not call it quits. It is with that in mind I cling to my faith, my heart, my mind. With these items in hand I know I will continue on until my last breath and my journey reaches it's inevitable ending. Along the way I hope to meet many more that will make the trek a little less long and a little less lonesome. In the end though....